Valentine’s Day: Feeling the Love or Feeling Low?

Valentine’s Day is pink, red, heart-filled, and very in your face. For many people, it’s a day filled with joy, passion, and the opportunity to give and receive love from those they cherish most. Plenty of people look forward to it, and that’s wonderful! There is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying everything the day has to offer. Other people, however, dread Valentine’s Day.

How could someone dislike - or even hate - the holiday of love?

Despite the marketing, the day isn’t universally joyful. The love it embodies often overshadows feelings that are quieter, heavier, and less visible: loneliness, irritation, sadness, or a vague desire to hide under a blanket until February 15th. For many, it highlights what feels missing rather than what’s present - a romantic partner, a text message, a sense of being chosen, a version of life that looks different from the one they’re currently living. Valentine’s Day has a talent for poking emotional bruises and stirring up feelings people didn’t realize were still tender.

It can bring up:

·       Grief over a breakup

·       Ache of being single when you don’t want to be

·       Disappointment about a history of failed relationships

·       Complicated loneliness of being in a dysfunctional relationship

As a result, people may feel:

·       Left out when social media turns into a highlight reel of flowers, fancy dinners, and relationship posts

·       Sad about unmet expectations in their love life (or lack thereof)

·       Flat, emotional numbness that makes you wonder why everyone else seems to feel something you don’t

·       Shame or self-criticism for being single and “unloveable”

·       Anxiety about the pressure to have generic plans, to respond the “right” way to messages, or to explain (again) why you’re single

Valentine’s Day is most often attributed to companionship. But there doesn’t always have to be another person in the picture. If you resonate with the hard feelings and lack of enjoyment around this holiday, you can choose to treat it like any other day. But if you want to engage, focus on showing yourself love instead of worrying about someone else showing up for you. You get to decide how the day is spent.

Gentle reminders and things to do to make the day about YOU:

1.       Romanticize yourself and your environment.
Put on an outfit that makes you feel good. Light a candle. Make a fancy drink. Order takeout to the house or take yourself to dinner.

2.       Do something you enjoy.
Watch a movie of your choice (romance-related or far from it). Read a book you can disappear into. Play a game, listen to music, reorganize a drawer. Distraction isn’t avoidance - it’s rest for your nervous system.

3.       Be intentional with social media.
Mute. Scroll past. Log off. You’re not obligated to consume content that makes you feel worse. Protecting your mood is not bitterness - it’s boundaries.

4.       Give yourself the same kindness you’d give to a friend.
If someone you loved was having a hard Valentine’s Day, you wouldn’t tell them to “get over it.” You’d be gentle and validating. Try offering yourself the same compassionate tone.

5.       Name the feeling without arguing with it.
Instead of “I shouldn’t feel this way,” try “This feels lonely, and that makes sense.” Naming a feeling often softens it. Fighting it usually makes it louder.

6.       Reflect on your favorite qualities about yourself.

Your humor, resilience, strength, creativity, accomplishments—whatever makes you you. Self-appreciation is a powerful form of self-love.

Remember: not having a Valentine—or any plans at all—does not determine your worth. You are worthy, appreciated, and fully capable of receiving love, exactly as you are.

As for me, I’ll be spending Valentine’s Day on the couch with my dog!

What will you be doing?